"Sticker, sticker, sticker, and a tiny treasure!"

Pre-K, my earliest memories of collecting small gifts and toys in a repurposed cigar box. I have been seeking that excitement - of waiting for the end of class to get my long-awaited treasure in exchange for many days of good behavior. I wanted to start this daily journaling of getting to know all the things I've taken for granted over the years. The things I've collected but haven't touched or seen. The material things that generally have attachments to memories for me, as I've got a bad habit of spending when stressed or happy. I start today with an even earlier memory - chewing on this piece of jade that hangs from my neck. I don't even notice it there except when I sleep on it and accidentally choke myself out. It's a natural part of me. I imagine it carries all of the experiences of pain - not like scars or memories of the event, more like pain as an abstract sensation. I imagine jade as absorbing all of the agony and turning it into a rich and majestic green. Green like the deepest part of the forest. I imagine it transforms agony into life energy. I imagine that's my superpower: to take a bit of the pain others share and pull it through this refinery. Then, I mold the elemental life experiences into that vibrant, gaia-filled energy that refills the emptying cup. I think of it all the time - how to be better at this, how to recognize different kinds of suffering, how to draw it out of people, how to protect their vulnerable state, how to mold it. How to give it back. How to let it go. The hardest part is trusting someone else enough to give everything back. I used to believe that they should honor me by honoring themselves, but that's not what I'm entitled to. I have always found joy in creation more than solvency. It's a reminder to appreciate the process.